Times with you grandpa....

Dear Thatha,
I don't know whether you are gonna read this or not but there are quite a lot of things that I've always wanted to tell you before you left me... Firstly, everyone in the family thought that you were very strict and were kind of a hitler but we loved you a lot and still do. But, I never thought you were a hitler or anything. I've always thought that you are the coolest grandpa anyone could ever have had. There are quite a lot of reasons.. for instance, when you showed me your early days photographs..I mean, you looked damn handsome. When you used to share your memories with me, it used to give me a lot of happiness.. I've never seen granny but you know you both were the most beautiful looking couple on earth. I know I've never said this but I love you a lot, thatha... I can never ever forget the wonderful moments i've shared with you.. From my babyhood, i've grown up on your bed,  peed on it like about a million times, still you never changed that mattress... You've always wanted me to be brisk and fast but unfortunately, I've never been able to get rid of my lethargic attitude..I am very sorry that I couldn't be the geethu you'd wanted me to be.. Quick, smart and perfect. and sort of like you :) but the only thing I got from you was the habit of crossing my legs.
I still remember the fear I had..... of losing the honor of being your favourite granddaughter after Mahi was born but i was  so wrong. I still was your favourite granddaughter and I know you loved me the most... Baby Mahi still thinks you're in the PSG hospital. I wish it was true.I wish you'd come back as she thinks you are.. Every day, every special moment, I feel your absence but donno why it seems like you are always with me.. still, calling me "kunju", still talking to me, praying for me, wishing me good luck and giving me the courage to face challenges boldly.....

Wow.. I'm getting patriotic..

Today.. after many days.. mom handed me my history book and forced me to open it... But as usual I opened it and got lost in my dreamworld... nah.. not fairies or ogres... it was about the mad man who might've got the Eureka idea to include history as a subject! I mean..

People have kept on fighting over issues like equaaallity, libbbeerrtyyy ... n all other crap since medieval times. And hoola! They are still fighting... and they will always keep on! Just for the sake of some partition that took place during 1947, people still can't stop the urge to killll.It's like saying... "Just because my dad and your dad fought for a toffee in kindergarten ..I am gonna fight with you for that toffee too... but hello...... lifelong.. How long?

You might think.. How does that relate to history textbook? It's like this... How do I know about the freedom struggle? How does every child know about Mahatma Gandhi? How do people know that pakistan was once a part of India? How have people developed an irrational sense of fear against pakistanis? buzzz: - History textbook! If it was not for this 'dignified " subject, I would never have known. Nor would majority of the Indian population have known... We celebrate independence day and beam with pride thinking about our leaders but we forget one thing... anger...the rage that cooks up in every indian...towards the british.... it's like digging your own graveyard... you know.. destroying the peace and harmony by poking out the sleeping monster in you that wants to fight and kill for..... practically nothing. Huh!

Another scenario :- What if we dont learn about our history and live like normal living beings... If no hindus or muslims get to know that their ancestors had fought once..... There might be no word like terrorism may be... It'll be like " Who cares a crap for what our dads did.. I 'll do what I want to "

But no....after all its our "khandani" ritual.. We must never let anyone forget that our forefathers were so brave. How much guts they had to fight over whose god was better.. Like anyone was going to accept "You win ! I lose!"

Reminding people about their past only aggravates the hidden feeling of hatred in their hearts...scratches out wounds making them bigger...

Bet - make a head out of it!

God I hate this NEW POST page.. and I literally mean it.. man.. it just squeezes out all the good ideas in you.. never mind.. hmm... so what was i gonna write?? (scratch- scratch).. omygosh seee its happening.. seriously i dont have the trickle of an idea whether this is absent mindedness or its like some things just have idiotic faces that say "han han! no you dont wanna do this! do you?" Really,sometimes I just feel like throwing pebbles..uh huh.. boulders over unpleasant things! You take up something in a mindblowing spirit.. some work or a book or a new song and something unbelievably annoying comes and says "Excuse me(literal meaning: You are not allowed to have a peace of mind.)". This is not one bit exaggeration.. coz that's actually what I am up to these days.. Its called "Mission - Blocking" yeah ... right Its definitely not "raindrops on roses n whiskers on kittens", anymore.... I am just blocking my daydreams or should I say trying to... One minute I pore over history of nationalism struggling to figure out why Prussia fought for German Unification while the next minute I am in tights and flats dancing ballet... ridiculous isn't it? I mean is this flu ever gonna end.. sleeping in daylight? chewing hard... at soft things.. lips, nails, skin and even pig tails... lifting an eyebrow... damn stressed out.. phew..... And literally screaming out the million dollar "Iam-fed-up" alphabets "O......M....G.."
But I have to say that.. its time.. sure it is.. coz I can't bear it any more. How long am I gonna use daydreaming or music to solve my problems? To me.. life is manipulative.. nothing ever occurs without a solid motive.You run and run and keep on running to reach an end and finally, the end comes and says.. April foool.. I am not the end... go on and burn some more calories fatty... ooh ooh that's another situation where you feel like ripping your arm off just because you'll have something to throw at..
So coming back to the "its time" thing.. I wanna challenge my problems.. ok fine.no exaggeration....just "solve" my problems....just "kick off its ass"... just "get rid of it".. "just sell it out" (breathe.. breathe) .... But believe me ... daydreaming is a bug not a drug.... so I just need to grab that "I can do it - bugspray" and hoolaaa successss! here I am!! By the way, is it available in the store next door?

The difference...

"Why are beggars called so?", I asked my mom curiously, seeing a small child begging outside the door. "Because they don't have anything to eat or wear.", she replied. "But why?".

"Because they don't have amma and appa like you have." I had asked this question to my mom when I was in 1st standard. I still remember how I used to carry a one - rupee coin whenever I visited the railway station or the temple. It used to make me proud giving out the coin to a physically challenged person or some wailing woman with a baby in her hand. The idea of serving others and getting their blessings would fascinate me a lot. But time passed and as I started going to school, I forgot all about helping others and allother blah blah. Instead we were taught how cunning beggars were and how it was wrong to encourage them by handing out money or food. Today, after a long time, I met up with some small children begging at my door. Their hands and feet were so small that they couldnot reach the doorbell. So they started knocking. Usually I don't open the door to strangers since I am alone in the house most of the time. But today as mom was leaving she called out for something and I had to go downstairs. Seeing me finally open the door the little ones got excited and started screaming with excitement, poking each other. I got a bit scared as I was afraid that they would enter the house. They started asking me," Aunty, kuch khane ko do na..." . I hesitated a bit as I remembered what was taught to me. I yelled out to mom that I was being disturbed by them. My mom got emotional and said, "Paavam.... give them the pulav after you have taken your share..." I was astonished to hear mom say so. But I recalled my past experiences and felt ashamed of myself. I hurriedly went inside and gave out the pulav in a plastic plate. They came out running with happiness, their eyes hungrier than their stomach. Seeing food, they grabbed handfuls of it. I shut the door and went out to the balcony. I smiled at them seeing them digging their tiny hands into the pulav. That moment, I felt sooooo bad that it's difficult to express. I realised how fortunate I was that I was born with the boon of having a mom and dad who have always been able to fulfil my wishes and needs, who love me a lotttttt...... This is fate, I thought.... The difference between the fortunates and the unfortunates......

???????

School's brimming with activity... co - curricular sessons, housewise competions, sports day along with assignments, homework, tests, and the best of all...... picnic. It's the last term when these activities add up to your already existing long list. Really, being a 10th standard girl is something different! It's like nothing is ever dull at all. Either it's too exciting or or its too frustrating. But it can never be boring. Taking my case, for example, being a house captain, collecting lists, thinking about group act ideas, chatting with my friends, going to tution, studying(rarely), completing HW, playing and having fun takes up most of the time of my day. I love being cheeerful, avoiding things that upset my mood as my mood is most precious to me. I forget things in a microsecond. And when I make up my mind that I would be more careful the next time, I just end up forgetting to remember. But I like this mess... I like eating food but I don't want to be fat. I want to study well - before the exams but its more effective only one day before. I hate eating tablets but I want to be strong. I make every problem solutionless. I mean, people using try to solve things right away. What's the kick in it? I like complicating it more and then solving it. That's what's called an acheivement. Every day is huge..... yet so small. Things come, things go... The only thing that is never constant is.... me. My velocity of thinking changes, my mood changes, my habits irritate others, my insincerety drives people mad, but I am me and I always will be.....

Olympiads n stuff

I'd never thought of becoming a "sci-math" thinker but I was forced to in these 10 days! Actually, we (I along with my friend) attended a JSOJMO (Junior Science and Maths Olympiad) programme held at Anushaktinagar, Mumbai. It was meant for all AECS school toppers from all over India. In the beginning, the lectures bored the hell out of us. Really, sitting at lectures for almost 12 hrs a day, with breaks only for meals do seemed like a tedius task that we had to go through each and every day. Besides, it is very difficult to prevent your eyelids from dropping down when something serious is being taught and you are expected to pay full attention. So the first 7 days went so. It felt like the teachers were teaching themselves and not the students. Every hour a person walks in with a ppt presentation and starts reading the presentation using a mike; and we sleep comfortably with open eyes throughout the lecture. Some teachers were really hilarious. For instance, the algebra teacher, always used to teach what not to write in the exam. His most famous phrase "some poor istudents" was a scream amongst everyone. He would begin with "Some poor istudents think that the declaration part......", "some poor istudents don't know where to...." and so on. But the only lectures we adored were the enrichment lectures where intersting teachers would come and teach with good videos and other stuff. But after the 7th day, when the exams got over........

We began doing the most idiotic things we'd ever done in our lives. After dinner, girls from all schools started loitering around the corridors troubling everyone by making a lot noise. The real fun was in knocking people's doors and running away. And then we would have a cheery laughter after poor confused kids opened their doors to see who had knocked while were hiding behind the corridor. Hence, we started making friends with people from other schools through these joint mishaps. Finally we all got very close to one another and began playing in our room (myself and friend's). I would certainly miss those wonderful days when we went to breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner together carrying our meal coupons daily, when we fought for the frontseats in the bus, when we drank Amul Kool everyday after the 2nd lecture, when something or the other would get spilt over my uniform and it would be the "disaster" of the day and when we would play about in the name of combine studies until 1:30 at night! This was an awesome experience and that too a first one. While leaving all the wonderful friends I had made there, I had to blink back the tears in my eyes; hoping that we would keep in touch and meet each other again.... Truly , I'll cherish those moments, forever.

Riots, episodes and fun!

As soon as the wretched paper got over, a hoard of girls came running out madly and started throwing pink, red and blue all over. Obviously, such madness can take place only at my school! We girls really are a sort of grown-up kindergarten stuff. The blow we got when we realised that holi clashed with our exams was really high. But we decided to compensate for it and played Holi today. A day later, but Holi is all about having fun, isn't it? I had somehow predicted today morning that girls would surely play about so I came all prepared carrying pink colour and wearing my old white dupatta instead of the regular one. My mom would sue me if I stain any of my uniforms whites. So, we chased each other and ran wildly. Even our teachers got scared and went home through the back gate of our school. Some of our teachers even started pleading like we were "dadas" and they were asking us permission to cross our area.That pleased us a lot! When I somehow think about various episodes that occur in my day to day school life, it seems to me that we girls are really getting kiddish rather than getting mature. For instance, our recess games might seem totally stupid to all since we play games like 'Fire in the mountain', 'running and catching', 'hide and seek', ' Pinky pinky, which color do you want?', 'chewing gum', etc. I still remember that once, while playing 'pinky - pinky' , I jumped into a heap of garbage to find red color when I was wearing a red wrist band. As I jumped in, all my friends jumped over me thinking that I had found red. As our VP ma'm always says before taking us to a school trip, "NO HOOLIGANISM,PLEASE!' By that time half of the people might be scratching their heads, wondering what was 'HOOLIGANISM'. Having not understood, they would carry on, ignoring her high class English. Last week, we were taken to NPCIL, where our dads work. It was supposed to be an educational trip. But no one bothered about education or any other blah blah. When we were shown a ppt presentation about the working of the nuclear power plant, the room got filled with loud yawns deliberately produced to irritate the presenter. Poor uncle got really nervous and started stammering. While returning back, girls rushed over to catch the back seats and started singing songs. We nearly killed some English songs by adding Hindi stuff into it. Even our teachers couldn't help smiling. So coming back to Holi celebrations; after playing for about an hour we came home as museum antique pieces, with red face and blue hair. Well, the blue hair thing looked really hep! That was dashing! Finally, we ended our celebration with pepsi cola and returned home! Cheers to the gang of girls! Wonders will never cease....