Saturday, August 29, 2009

Oh! Why am I so confused?





"What to do? Where to go? Should I really do this? No... I should not! Well ........ maybe I should... Is it right???? yes.... no... yes...no......" Well there is no end to these questions! The result is that I end up saying " Oh! Why am I so confused?" Well, I am a confused person..... not just "a confused person" but totally meddlesome too. I donot easily get a solution to a problem and instead get my brain brimmed with doubts. Doubts! Doubts! Doubts! Oh! why don't these doubts just sweep of???? Being a class monitor, I am often trapped in the most complicated circumstances! And what are those???? You may wonder "What kind of circumstances?? Being a monitor is fun as you get to rule the class!!" Well ... the circumstances are as follows :-
1) I get absolutely blank when I am told to see the substitution register and check the substitution teacher(god knows! how to do it!). Well, this is a thing that all moniters have to do . Just enter the VP's room and check the register! But... all kinds of thoughts occur only in my mind. What if VP ma'm is present over there....... and she scolds me.....NO WAY! Thinking of these things gives a shiver down my spine.
2) Though I am good at English, I get all confused when a teacher asks me something and I stammer in an ungrammatical manner, adding "is" "was" "actually" "what happened was that" etc etc ... words. I mean, why do I do this only before teachers when I speak neatly before others. I am a genuine stammerer!!
3) I get confused a whole lot of people stare at me expecting something from me. And I should tell you that at that minute, my body temparature suddenly rises to 102 degree farenheit!! And my hands go icy cold!!
4) I get nervous by the feeling of being the laughing stock of the lot and sometimes I do!
I don't know why I am like this ! It isn't lack of confidence! I have confidence in my blood! Who has the confidence to shout at the top of her voice despite of being imitated by others???? I have!!!!!! (I am proud of it! Collar up!)
No one else (as far as I have seen) gets so much confused and nervous like me!! I must try to pick up some nice rolls of courage !!!! I will surely try to. But at present I must think of some positive points like for instance that I am different from others and that's what is called...... "SPECIAL"