War Paint

My eyeliner has always been waterproof and I’ve never seemed to be very pleased about it. Some days it wouldn’t come off even with a splash of water. Well, conventionally, when you hear the word “eyeliner” or “kohl”, you imagine profound layers of grace and bewitching sights of Hindi film heroines leveraging this slight sway of the lashes to express elusive emotions.

Snipping off the poetic concoction and moving on to the point I am trying to make, I’d say that, being a girl, bewitching someone does seem like a plausible intention to me (unabashedly unapologetic here). But it’s not why I choose to cloak my eyes with the shades of night. The “Who are you trying to impress?” mouthed by several people, perpetually ringing in my ears, does not seem to put a halt to my not-so-but-quite-so-fathomable intentions. Well, coming to think of it, who am I really trying to impress?

I am trying to impress upon the onlooker, the state of my mind. Hey, don’t smirk now. It’s not all that deep. Am I saying that the lashes are cupid’s wings and the gaze is an arrow? Am I saying that the eyeliner is a roadmap to the cupid’s abode? No. I am just saying that my emotions are manifested into the paint that I choose to smear over myself. It is the paint that screams out “Hell yeah, bring on the war!”

 I become one of the woman-kind, fighting for my wings (what a pun!), not giving a damn about certain opinionated people hunting for the soul I am trying to impress in particular.  Which war am I talking about now?

I am referring to the everyday struggle that begins with the sunshine slapping my eyelids with orange speckles and winds rampaging the doors of my room. The day, waiting to be seized, wanders away somewhere in disappointment. All the day-goals boil down to blank boxes on a notepad, unchecked, drowning in procrastination. Soon after the squandered day has set, I walk up to the mirror again to see the waterproof paint melting down, unable to survive my vigor. I feel proud all over again. “At least you tried.” I smile and mutter in hope.  

This is the reassurance that everyone needs in order to go relentless on life, keeping the hope incubated in times of need. So yes, paint your eyes dark and let your struggle smudge it. Let it remind you that nothing is easy and yet, you survive it.