Philosophy.. Cup o' coffee???

Few of the oldest and most frequent questions I remember asking dad are "Where does god live?' or 'What happens after death?" or something related to reincarnation. Sadly... Instead of  pondering upon the genuine cliche ideas or asking questions like "why is the sky blue daddy?' or 'why is grass green?' , I was always into unraveling mythical mysteries. Though he would have definitely been more delighted to answer questions like "What is radioactivity?", he never felt more debonair answering the intense ones.  I was/am exceptionally curious about a lot of creepy stuff kids of my age never talked about. I was a faithful listener owing to the fact that I still remember the first story my dad had narrated to me ( well he has probably narrated more than a 1000 stories till now. not a single one repeated) The story of  madhumalati and her three suitors. Yeah.. I still make him gape in awe at my ability to remember most of my childhood vividly leaving aside the fact that I forget the most basic things on my daily routine.
One fine morning (when I was 7 years old), I threw a tantrum! A massive tantrum indeed! "I want to go and sit and fly on a big birdie! NOW! NOW! NOW!" Mum as usual did not react much. She was used to my occasional outbursts of "I want a pink rabbit!" or " I want a boo-boo (that's what I would call a bey-blade)" or "I want a Scooby Doo". She was all "Go drink complan now! We'll talk about it later!"
But daddy, got all worked up! He actually thought that I was on the brink of insanity! "Why on earth do you want to do that?", he asked, eyeing me anxiously. "I want to say namaskaram to umaachi (god)! He'll smile at me and a big bulb will glow behind him and then, he'll show me his hand! And I'll get full marks in Maths test tomorrow!", I said grinning with excitement. Daddy let out a sigh of relief and then tried to distract me few other stories. I can't blame him though, for thinking that I could have hopped on to the next pigeon I would see in the park.
After growing up a bit more, I started linking science with religion and with my beliefs. I wanted to prove the existence of god because I believed in him. Instead of the big bang theory, I trusted and preferred the "God made the world in 7 days". A million "why's" were swimming in my mind. Do planetary positions really affect the future of an individual? How do people with the same zodiac sign possess similar nature? What happens after death?
"Death is a form of sleep. When you wake up, you are in the womb of a mother, asleep, regretting your wrongs deeds in your past life, kicking in exasperation, about the inevitable fact that nothing in the world can make you go back and correct those mistakes. As the first bout of air gushes in your lungs, you forget your past life and start a new life full of new prospects, leaving behind your past." This is what I like to believe now. It seems more logical. I mean, can you imagine not existing in this world? Atleast mentally? Just a mere cardiac arrest cannot stop you from existing in this universe!
So, people often think, why such unnecessary thoughts at this tender age.. There are better social and political matters demanding a dispute.. But, I say, every thing else has a nonnegotiable solution. Philosophy never has.. Whether it is culture, tradition or beliefs, everything bears its own baggage of controversies. And if you value your own philosophy, are flexible towards others' opinions and if the thirst and search for answers never cease, then, you are indeed a philosopher... 

That school girl...

13 years! From the day I'd barely started lisping words from my mouth, till the day I was clad gracefully in a saree, I've been in AECS-1. As the head-girl, I was supposed to speak on the farewell day. As soon as I scribbled the first word on the blank sheet, tears glided down my cheeks, making the paper moist. Tearing it off, I began typing afresh in the computer...

Good morning one and all! Respected principal mam, vice principal sir, headmaster sir, beloved teachers and all my dearest friends! Ahh! Shoot! This is probably the last time I am saying these words standing on this stage! It makes me utterly nostalgic..  Anyways, I feel very glad to have been given this opportunity to speak a few words on behalf of the whole 2014 batch! So, I would like to briefly narrate our entire journey, our own stages of metamorphosis! We were slash are a really naughty batch. Starting from prep, where we wrote all our B’s and D’s the wrong way, till junior college, where we solve brainstorming equations, nothing has changed at all. We started out as little kids, crying our heads off yelling “I don’t want to go to school!” and now..look how time has brought us to the stage where we don’t feel like leaving it at all.

It feels like it was just yesterday when we were being scolded for losing our pencils, sharpeners and erasers. When abha mam n nirmala mam taught us ka, kha, ga..whenkondra mam taught us how to count, and minakshi mam taught us to add.. 4 in mind 2 in hand 4-5-6!! So I would like to salute all our primary teachers  who worked soo hard to fit stuff into our rock minds. Rock minds indeed. Since most of us still carelessly scribble  3+2=6 sometimes! Wonder how reddy sir deals with that now! Then, nextly, came the secondary stage.. We were grown up and we felt big indeed. It was time we got exposed to the social and scientific world waiting for our contribution. Not only did our teachers teach us lessons from the textbook, but they also inculcated values within us, and taught us what’s right and what’s wrong. We can never forget  Ramchandran sir’s cheerful humor, sridevi mam’s stern yet encouraging words, the amazing stories yadav madam narrated, the love and affection pandaley mam showered upon us,dharmadhikari  sir’s dedication,poonambhatt mam’s soft and sweet words, the fascinating facts rajalakshmi mam shared with us and her eagerness in spreading knowledge, dale madam’s valuable support, wadhone mam’s enthusisam and kanappan sir’s amusing style .. All of them played a major role in building the base of our education, making us ready for the battle we were going to face.. JUNIOR COLLEGE, ladies and gentlemen! Geared off with the guidance from excellent teachers we began our ultimate battle of education.  Every concept they teach is crystal clear and I am sure we all are very relieved knowing that we made the right choice coming here. Even though we failed at the first attempt, they never let us give up and boosted our confidence in every way possible. Also Vice principal sir and headmaster sir, we thank you very much for having so much faith in us, trusting that we have the potential to reach phenomenal heights. And last but not the least principal mam, along with us, these are your last days at this school as well, so I would like to thank you for being so open with all of us, giving us loads of opportunities to express our wishes, making these two years of us  extremely eventful . 

This school has gifted all of us with the most dependable friends, and tons of lovely memories we can cling on to till the end of our lives. This is where I was born, my Alma mater. No matter where I go, my umbilical cord will still be attached to this school because it has made me who I am today. We promise to achieve great success in life making this school and our teachers proud.  And studying under this roof , has always given us the confidence that (This is where I started singing)  “ ham honge kamiyaab,,hum honge kamiyaab ek din.. oho mann mein hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, ham honge kamyaab ek din! Thank you so much.. 

 I don't know whether it was the applause or the smiling faces of my teachers, my voice shook due to the tears I was trying to hold at the last line... And only few days are gonna change my "school girl" status..no more double braids, no more grey, no more badges to pin up.. 

From phoolkumari to phatakdi!

1^ststd: Me (Wailing) : Nobody wants to play doll- house or hide and seek with me mommy! (sobs) S says I’m not on her team!

Now, has the whole world suddenly started revolving around me? No one can ever compare the boycut girl who was always made to dress up as a boy in dances, who wrote her D’s and B’s wrong till the 3^rd standard, who was soo drastically skinny that she was partially invisible, who was  snotty and kept on  wailing all the time… to ME! Then came the pigtail phase. Pigtails, homework, spectacles and lot of parachute hair oil.. Again I have no significant memories of that phase except that of crying at every possible situation from an ant bite to a bad grade . I remember being a demure, pious, homely girl and a super- sensitive “nazuk kali”. And now,bibbidi bobbidi boo!

Here, enters the freakishly familiar “phatakdi”! “Now, FINALLLY you look like a junior college diva”, said C. And I was like “That bad?”  with an “OH YEAHHH!” grin, flicking the “I-don’t-know-what-you-call-them” hair strands or bangs falling over my cheeks. Had I been at home that time,I would have a million bobby pins sticking out of my head.  So, yeah it happened gradually. First went the spectacles, then my zits (okay eww) and then few locks of my precious hair.. Sniff sniff. . But it was all okay.  I was actually getting noticed. I had never demanded it but was always encountering a hey! Nice hair/ such bright eyes, or something. Suddenly I started hearing my name in all the directions. I was metamorphosing from “miss rote memorizer” to “miss cultural”. But little did I know that too much sweet can also make one choke real bad!  I don’t know whether I am being paranoid or something but trust me, being in the limelight is really obnoxious. Never ever get a makeover and try to look graceful. Next thing you might be chased by a paparazzi! Or get hit on the nose by an autograph book! Okay I am exaggerating but yes, I was almost pushed from the stairs thanks  to a huge crowd of primary kids begging.. no not begging, threatening me to sign their books on teachers day.  Also people involuntarily start treating you like you are a piece of porcelain! There arrive a series of “OHH! She cant’s !” As in Ohh! she can’t – climb the rock, jump over the fence, blow gum, hit the volleyball, step on a cockroach, eat a chilly, look at a lizard, lift a chalk!

So now I really miss being ugly and dorky. I miss being invisible and I miss being scorned at! It sounds stupid but I am tired of the googlywooglywushes, the “aww that’s cute” and the fake smothering . So I finally decided to go back to the pavilion. I chose the mundane stuff over the phenomenal! The spectacles and the oil and the pigtails came steering back in and the limelight was totally put off. And here I am, enjoying the sheer pleasures of solitude, expecting to receive no further attention whatsoever.  So whenever I see any curly little featherhead shining in the limelight, I smile in pity, mumbling to myself, “Been there, done that! Desperate times”...

Sky is the limit

"Sky is the limit" , my yellow tee said. I was fussing about the same old "I-have-nothing-appropriate-to-wear" issues on my picnic eve because wardrobe malfunction was the last thing I wanted to face during a trek. One wrong accessory and one teeny tiny uncomfortable glitch had the potential to ruin everything. So tieing my shoelaces, and rubbing my arms and feet with surplus amount of moisturiser( winter at its peak) I set out for the bus.

The early morning chill wind rapped at my face, sending few strands of my hair whirling about my head as I opened the bus window. I was relishing the morning energy. Few rays of light were just about to bloom from the bright orange sun, gleaming like a jewel studded in the sky . My mind craved for something peaceful, evincing the atmosphere when a shrill noise came flooding in. I clutched at my ears and looked behind to find that the guys had turned the speakers on. Most of them were dancing to some desi beats, screaming something intelligible in colloquial marathi. Shoot! There goes my "piece" of mind.. The piece where soft tunes (like greensleeves) wander across my mind. But a smile soon reappeared on my face as our bus halted at asherigad, our destination for the day where a deliciously healthy grassland embraced a lake brimming with water. I got down and stretched myself, posing to few snapshots, clicking some myself. We were divided into groups and then we set out for climbing the rocky stones. "See that peak that looks like the top of a well licked ice cream" said someone. "That's where we're gonna reach"..

Our journey began with a plain path that soon extended into a steep rocky slope. Each and every rock looked like it was carved to serve some purpose. Every another step was a tinge more tedious than the previous and we were soon huffpuffing and taking mini breaks to gulp some water. I took slow sips being cautious so that I wont run out of water. Unlike girls, guys drank water wildly crushing down bottle after bottle recklessly. In our group we were 3 girls and around 10 guys so keeping pace with the overenergetic lot gave made me real sweaty. We sang silly songs, pulled each others legs, made a tease out of every threat we encountered. Plus, listening to guys chatter is like listening to a rap song full of swear words. Guys let their unruly tongues run wild and their emotions were scattered all over the place.

 After an hour or so, we came to a narrow plain again which clearly indicated that the first level was over. A lush green valley resided below it. There was a small ladder welded to rocks placed a few steps ahead which lead to a narrow rocky staircase. We stood gaping at the gorgeously cut terrain which was actually very treacherous. One rough slip and there you go rolling down, finally landing in heaven or hell, wherever you are destined to go. With a pair of helping hands, we climbed up. Some felt dizzy, some were happy and some were overexcited. Well level 2 was just a ramble. We finally set our foot on the peak, which showed the other side of the hill, the curvy NH-8 (national highway eight) running below.

Dipping our legs into a cool water lake after a tiresome and thrilling adventure was damn soothing. It untangled sore muscles and relieved the pain. While our eyes feasted upon the rich lotus floating in a pond, we feasted upon the lunch pack we opened. Okay, one thing I learnt! Avoid the company of thirsty guys! Trust me they involuntarily turn into bunch of chimps. Their actions make tarzan look like a gentleman in a tux. I mean, I literally had to play tug of war with my waterbottle when one of my friends got into a brawl with me trying to snatch it. NO amount of yelling “I am not gonna lend you a single drop until you faint or begin to die!” actually helped. I know it’s kinda ruthless of me. But hey, that jerk ended up spilling all my water over himself, wasting the few drops that were left. And sometimes, you just need to stop being a martyr.

Coming down was tricky. Our legs seemed involved in their own trance.. Most of us were ill-equipped with improper grips on our shoes. So, the notorious see-saw rocks posed a valid threat. So, after falling on my butt three times, losing the way and getting two juicy and bloody thorn cuts on my leg, I reached the village below the hill with my pals. Our throats were parched and our hearts were pounding with desperation. We were washed by relief when our thirst was finally quenched after the drinking the bore-well water villagers gave us. Some of my friends had also consumed the lake water unknowingly. Well, the lake’s floor was lined with algae, I forgot to mention. But thirst can do wonders.. Most of us who wouldn’t even dream of consuming anything other than mineral or filtered water actually drank bore-well water. It glided down our throats like rich honey.

After reaching the foot of the hill, we began waiting for the second batch to arrive which comprised of our teachers and my friend who was limping already. The other side of the lake revealed a rocky path with ankle deep streams that led to a cheery waterfall ahead. It was not a huge one.. It was sortof a miniature form of a waterfall with water gushing down merrily over few steps. All of us stood on the steps and posed for the pics. Most of our trendy poses had a wild and classy air about them. Like we were on the title screen of the soap opera “LOST”. (which is an amazing show btw)

The sun was setting in and so was my enthusiasm. Lovely memories unfolded within me. Memories of the day as if everything happened ages ago. Memories of my friends teasing each other, memories of yelling at the hilltop, the laughter, recognizing the caring hands that pulled me up, the words filled with concern, the panic on seeing someone lose balance, the relief that surged in the mind, on knowing that the day finally recoiled into the happy experience I would never feel like forgetting… Indeed, sky was the limit, and we all had crossed it that day…

I heart me .. forever

"BaseBand!" , D said beaming, raising an eyebrow with both his hands clenched in a thumbs up! Typical in a non- exhausting way! My lips curled into a grin and I responded with the ditto enthusiasm, "WHaT???"
((Flashback: 7th period - Electronics class.. I am sitting on the 2nd bench scribbling down notes using a ball point pen (which btw makes my book look like a spider web). Sir's voice rolls off and gets registered at some corner of my mind..MY mind's preoccupied with well "How NOT to make the notebook look like a doctor's prescription" . "So the next type of communication...one way.. two way... baseband..."  My ears jolt up and I look around to find people what-what-ing at the word. It's spelled and defined and I go back to switching OFF the right side of my brain.))
"Baseband Geet! Try remembering!" D said again, the smile still stuck to his face. "Oo! ooh! Are you thinking what I am thinking?" I asked him now, returning his thumbs up. I nudged Cherry sitting at my side and whispered " See, I think even he misheard baseband as lesbian!" She was snoozing heavily enough with her eyes open to respond to me. So I turned to D. He said, "Look at the definition! A low frequency signal produced by humans! And you are a living example! Increase your volume!" Alright! It was a "ooopsee I am way too out of the world" moment! I admit! My face convulsed into laughter gradually..  And yes, I am known for my sorrys and pardons and can-you-repeat-its (the partially deaf part) and "softest-soft-loud- louder" (the low volume part). People give up in exasperation either trying to convey their message or viceversa. So what image do I actually carry in others' minds? Apparently, self- obsessed happens to be my middle name (applause), so this question somewhat owned a birthright to pop into my mind. I shortlisted two cases which might not be entirely true..
Case 1: The partially deaf school captain, a little messy and super weird: She shrieks and flees at the sight of the volleyball coming up to her face at the court instead of receiving it. She constantly whines about getting a suntan. She detests screeching noises and people who scratch their heads unnecessarily and is known to make unique expressions.
Case 2: The dramaqueen! Cries like a snotty little toddler, can't stand up to herself or yell at someone. Bit of an attention seeker. Loves extending the eyeliner into wings and dresses subtly..
I AM who I Am ! I found myself repeating these words more than often this week. BUt now the question is not Who am I? Its What am I? Most people spend their lives behaving like hillbillies scorning others who think too much about themselves . When their friends drop a casual question before them like "Is my hair fine?" or "Do I look fat?" their ungracious no-one's-looking-at-you response is always followed by eyes rolls and impatient noises. But, they are the ones who are missing something crucial in life.. Themselves..
           It's not a nose that's always in the air, it's pride that constructs an enigma eventually. The reluctance to accept an opinion, the eagerness to make judgments.. So, you know WHAT you are? YOu are what you like being.. Embrace yourself, heartily appreciate the tiniest micromolecules of good things in you, scold yourself, make crazy deals with your heart, respect your own wishes and stand up to your own expectations. Because..... The only one who is always going to stand by your side throughout eternity is... you...