Shades Of Monotone

What is Grey? Just a color? Yes.....But, is that all? No.

Grey is the state of our lives. While there's a ray of white light shining far away, there's always a black hole of disappointment, waiting to suck us in. And in this tug of war between white and black, enters grey, like a monkey succeeding in snatching the cake from the cats. It seems like a farfetched comparison but, we often don't even realize it happening as we get slowly stranded in a grey state. The state of renunciation. You don't know if you are happy, you don't know if you are sad.  You are too scared to be either of them, you end up convincing yourself with something intelligible, and Bam! You are all grey-ed out.

And amidst this conundrum, you go gaga! To patronize oneself, or to not patronize oneself, that, is "now" the question. Grey is a situation which leaves you mentally paralyzed, as in helpless. You can only run till your lungs burst. In the end, there is not guarantee if you'll end up basking in sunshine or peeing in the dark. Grey 

is not something perennial, it is transitory. But it can leave wounds that may exist till a long time.

So how do you combat a grey situation? Many people have different ways:-

a) By procrastinating the act of dealing with the "oh-so-terrible" issues.. (Great)

b) By moping over it. (Doesn’t matter, still leading the same friggin way)

c) By being the sick optimist, always ready to defy the situation with daggers drawn. (Stop dreaming, you win-win guys)

NO matter what you do, what's going to happen is going to happen. So, instead of doing the above, try believing. Try imagining being sucked by the black hole. Live in the black hole. You'll definitely end up lighting a lamp there. Something dynamic is definitely better than something stagnant, right? Everything except grey is dynamic. Shahrukh Khan had said in Om Shanti Om, "Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho tho sari kaynath tumhe usse milane ki koshish mein lag jati hai". So, the best thing to do during a grey situation is to believe, to trust and to wish. I heard that's tax - free nowadays. Even Cinderella got her palace, Om became an actor and got his Shanti, and I assume Romeo and Juliet must've met at heaven again. The End. Pull down the curtains of joy and indulge in believing in a happy ending. 

From upbeat to harmony

One word.  Music. I am empowered. Music is one of the most gorgeous elements of summer. I’ve got this absurd delusion that my ears get more capable of hearing during summer as the air is clearer, less promiscuous. The summer winds are deluged with tunes, as birds banter around chirping merrily, women keep clanking their cookware, the jocund rhythm of the garden sprinklers and the gentle rustling of leaves. These tunes arouse emotions, make me nostalgic, give me frequent déjà vus and make me sad. This roller coaster of emotions takes over my iPod as well, when a variety of songs with completely different moods occupy a single playlist. There’s one tune that’ll keep haunting my mind throughout the week! And it’ll follow me wherever I go irrespective of whether it’s an examination hall or a bathroom. And sometimes few songs make me very restless.. Like I really want to shout out to somebody how awesome it is.. So, I’ve decided that I am gonna shout it out right here.. I don’t like rating songs and all. IT’s very unfair I think. Every song is remarkable in its own way. So here are those songs I’ve been listening for a month or two that are just so good that they have been distracting the hell outta me.

•        Gone Gone Gone by Philip Philips – I’ve been hearing this since quite a while but when it was played as the bg score for an Andrew Garfield scene in The Amazing Spiderman 2, that’s it, I got sold big time!  Now, I am head over heels crazy about it.

•        Tera sukoon ya junoon ( Title track of beintehaa): This song is not much popular but I love everything about it. While listening to it, I am incapable of doing anything with the exception of getting lost in the fabulous melody of the song, relishing the lyrics and visualizing Zain and Alia (the protagonists of the soap). It literally screams out romance with every word.

•        Ishq duaa ( Beintehaa bg score): Yes, I am obsessed with the show but more with the music. The slight sufi edge, the taans, the frolic gives a beautiful vision of dupattas flying in the air, fishes swimming in the ocean, sunflowers swaying and everything that is filmy.

•        Khudaaya tu bata (Shanghai) by Shekhar Ravjiani

•        Beat it - by Chris Brown, Sean Kingston and Wiz Khalifa. It’s right on top of the list. Bang on awesome music.

•        Heart attack – By Demi Lovato – Powerful.. Whenever I listen to this song, it feels like something is rising within me along with Demi’s pitch. I just love the way she pronounces everything so sharply and gets very vigorous with every line, like she’s putting her heart and soul in every word. It’s not at all a regular song. I love the innovation. It’s not like a  “I saw something, I got inspired,  wrote it down, got my guitar down and started humming it” kinda song  . This song is just bursting with energy at every syllable.

•        Counting stars – BY One republic – I just like it. Just-just-just like it. I’ve been trying to search for a reason. I failed.

•        “State of grace”, “You belong with me”, “Red” and “15” by Taylor swift – The lyrics are very good. There’s a flow and meaning in the songs. I actually cannot hate any Taylor swift song because I think she’s very honest and forthright in her songs. It’s a package of spectacular voice+tune+lyrics.

•        Yaar indha salai oram – ( Thalaiva) BY G.V Prakash and Saindhavi – It’s too sweet for words. This duet is fabulous. It makes me wanna dance ballet. It’s made for a fairytale.

•        Kadhal ennulle (Neram) By Renjith – I can’t understand the lyrics much but there’s a very docile edge to this song that I really love. It goes on and on. It feels like a pleasant morning.

•        Nagada (Ramleela) By Shreya Ghoshal – I am a die hard fan of both Shreya and Dipika and this combination is what draws me to this song!.

•        Acapella – By Karmin – It’s hilarious. It’s a slow rap, very boldly sung.

•        Duaa (Shanghai) – I’ve heard it millions of times as a bg score but just recently got to hear it completely. The best track to plug in when your spirits are at low ebb. 

Go multilingual!

"Bhagwaanji! Pleasee aj ka din, ekdam mast, jhakkaas, aur khushiyon se bhara din ho. Mai jo bhi wish mangoon aj, puri kar dena aap!" Oh Yes! These are the exact highly intellectual and to-the-point words I use while praying early in the morning as soon as I wake up... I mean come on! I can't go all “Oh dear lord Ganesha! Bless me with trinkets of wisdom, give me the strength to defy all hindrances and let everything be very auspicious as I embark upon this wonderful day!" In the morning, when my brain's not working, I tend to frame my thoughts using the most colloquial words. They just pop outta nowhere. It is said that most of the people think in their mother tongue or the language which they are more familiar with. But in my case, I am not really sure which language that is.

Being born in Tamil (pronounced as Tamizh) Nadu, and brought up in Maharashtra, I was exposed to two contrasting cultures constantly. Additionally, I live in a society that exhibits a blend of all the states of India. People of all languages exist here. Everyone play dandiya during Navratri and merrily attend Thalapoli and bhajanais during ayyappa pujai. So, having at least two friends of each language of India, gave me a crazy yet not-so-crazy fantasy to become a multilinguist. As a kid, the first language I learnt was Marathi, followed by Hindi and Tamil (pronounced as Tamizh). And, very surprisingly I pulled off all the three beautifully. None of the accents seemed to cut in through each other. I was not a “Mereko indiii thoda thoda aati" kind of South Indian. Nor was I an "onnuda perundaaa" kinda Maharashtrian. I freak out on listening to such accents.

There are many people around me who share the same shoe as me, being South Indians, growing up in what is considered as North there. Some are too much inclined towards the culture they are exposed to everyday, stumbling upon Tamil words, complaining constantly about having to eat idli and sambar every week, sulking every time when a Tamil programme is being watched at home or lying to their friends "I don't understand a word of Tamil, you know! I wonder how they even manage to speak it! So complicated". These set of people; teens especially, try very hard to mix in with what's around them and deliberately choose to turn a blind eye towards their ethnic roots.

There exist another set of people who are quite the opposite. Such south Indian girls are easily spotted in school as they are the only ones with the long, finely oiled braids, sporting a bindi and a broad line of chandanam on their forehead, wearing gold earrings and maybe a nose pin too. They have a slight Tamil accent in HIndi and enjoy watching Tamil soaps with their grandparents. They ignore the tag "aunty" given to them at school and march off feeling that "Lajja aur sharam aurat ke sabse keemti gehne hote hai”... OK perhaps the same dialogue in Tamil!

But I do not belong to either category of people. I love Ilaya Thalapathi Vijay as much as I love Shahrukh Khan. People find me whistling equally hard at both Hindi and Tamil movies. I feast upon dosa and chapatti with equal greed. I am proud of being a Tamilian. I neither flaunt nor look down upon my culture. I generally speak a mix of Hindi, Tamil and Marathi at home, conventionally phrasing a sentence as “Amma, enaku ekdam laukar laukar khana tha" . (Mum, bring me food very fast) . Yeah, this is a very frequently used statement at home. So,I think the beauty of a language lies in its accent and the beauty of adapting a culture lies in the flexibility with which you do it.

And wait, I am not boasting about trying to become multilingual by just being able to speak three languages. I am trying hard to improve at Telugu and Malayalam. After I am done dealing with them,maybe I'll turn over to Gujarati and Punjabi. Seems like a very long way to go but you know, I've already started whistling for Mahesh babu, Nagarjuna, Naga - chaitanya and all... 

A gush of life

I stood on one leg like a crane, leaning on the balcony grill. I was trying to breathe in to my fullest, to rivet myself into the sweet scent of summer, it's sublime aura. The harsh heat beat against the windows as I sipped in cool lemonade. Everything feels so familiar, so homely nowadays. Just because of the ambiance that summer creates, especially during the twilight hours. Inhaling that scent triggers off millions off suppressed memories. That's when I remembered my teacher talking about characteristic smells long ago. About how every person or thing has a characteristic scent of his/its own. And I adore the diverse characteristic smell of summer. In the morning, you feel like plunging into the freshness, in the afternoon the slightly smoky melancholy makes you slouch and laze around. During dusk, it feels extremely soothing as the heat creeps out. Though every hour exhibits a different scent, it's very typical.
Scents that we are acquainted with always tend to remain in our memory. It may be an old rusty book or your sister's oil slathered wild hair. Whenever I shove my nose up to an old novel, it immediately reminds me about the year when I had first read it. It's as if the scent tells a story of it's own. A month ago, when I smelled Mysore sandal soap in the soap box stored in the loft, it reminded me of my grandpa who would frequently use that brand. It made me very emotional. Every time I inhaled, it felt as if he was right there. Similarly, Fair And Lovely will always remind me of mommy and Nycil will always remind me of daddy.
 Mom's vegetable curries always smell different from those that my Nannie used to cook , because South Indian spices are different from Maharashtrian spices. The aroma of onions always completes a dish and a good Pulav only needs the fragrance of good quality Basmati rice. From cosmetics to cuisine, everything has a distinct perfume attached to it. Drenched mud reminds you of monsoon while incense sticks remind you of God. So, always set aside a nice whole second to breathe in the variant flavors of life.. Who knows when you might come across a long - lost memory.. 

Philosophy.. Cup o' coffee???

Few of the oldest and most frequent questions I remember asking dad are "Where does god live?' or 'What happens after death?" or something related to reincarnation. Sadly... Instead of  pondering upon the genuine cliche ideas or asking questions like "why is the sky blue daddy?' or 'why is grass green?' , I was always into unraveling mythical mysteries. Though he would have definitely been more delighted to answer questions like "What is radioactivity?", he never felt more debonair answering the intense ones.  I was/am exceptionally curious about a lot of creepy stuff kids of my age never talked about. I was a faithful listener owing to the fact that I still remember the first story my dad had narrated to me ( well he has probably narrated more than a 1000 stories till now. not a single one repeated) The story of  madhumalati and her three suitors. Yeah.. I still make him gape in awe at my ability to remember most of my childhood vividly leaving aside the fact that I forget the most basic things on my daily routine.
One fine morning (when I was 7 years old), I threw a tantrum! A massive tantrum indeed! "I want to go and sit and fly on a big birdie! NOW! NOW! NOW!" Mum as usual did not react much. She was used to my occasional outbursts of "I want a pink rabbit!" or " I want a boo-boo (that's what I would call a bey-blade)" or "I want a Scooby Doo". She was all "Go drink complan now! We'll talk about it later!"
But daddy, got all worked up! He actually thought that I was on the brink of insanity! "Why on earth do you want to do that?", he asked, eyeing me anxiously. "I want to say namaskaram to umaachi (god)! He'll smile at me and a big bulb will glow behind him and then, he'll show me his hand! And I'll get full marks in Maths test tomorrow!", I said grinning with excitement. Daddy let out a sigh of relief and then tried to distract me few other stories. I can't blame him though, for thinking that I could have hopped on to the next pigeon I would see in the park.
After growing up a bit more, I started linking science with religion and with my beliefs. I wanted to prove the existence of god because I believed in him. Instead of the big bang theory, I trusted and preferred the "God made the world in 7 days". A million "why's" were swimming in my mind. Do planetary positions really affect the future of an individual? How do people with the same zodiac sign possess similar nature? What happens after death?
"Death is a form of sleep. When you wake up, you are in the womb of a mother, asleep, regretting your wrongs deeds in your past life, kicking in exasperation, about the inevitable fact that nothing in the world can make you go back and correct those mistakes. As the first bout of air gushes in your lungs, you forget your past life and start a new life full of new prospects, leaving behind your past." This is what I like to believe now. It seems more logical. I mean, can you imagine not existing in this world? Atleast mentally? Just a mere cardiac arrest cannot stop you from existing in this universe!
So, people often think, why such unnecessary thoughts at this tender age.. There are better social and political matters demanding a dispute.. But, I say, every thing else has a nonnegotiable solution. Philosophy never has.. Whether it is culture, tradition or beliefs, everything bears its own baggage of controversies. And if you value your own philosophy, are flexible towards others' opinions and if the thirst and search for answers never cease, then, you are indeed a philosopher...